The dreamer and The realist (the debate between heart and mind)
I can fall in love with almost any man. I can find value in anyone’s flaws and admire them for their individual strengths. I can make a connection because I allow myself to understand and accept. I believe that there can be something particularly special with any two people. But can it be spectacular? Is dreaming and believing in a soul-mate something we just tell ourselves in order to give us hope? Hope in that picture perfect kind of love.
Two people can love each other. My fear is that there will always be a space for doubt, the thought that there could have been something better. That we’ll end up just lying to ourselves in order to fulfill the need to love and be loved. I sit here… and any man can find love with me. We can be happy with each other. He can be the best man and I can be the best woman and together we can build a connection and live in harmony. The love will grow because that’s what it usually does. Although in the back of my mind, deep down in my soul; I would have always wanted more. That different kind of love because there are many forms of love, but non unlike “it”. The type that in the beginning everyone searches for and subsequently giving up because they come to the conclusion that it does not exist. Nevertheless it may be that its rarity is occult. And for those that do, what makes them so special? Life is not fair? No, it is not. And I question myself… How many men will take a piece of my heart in order for me to find “the one”? Furthermore, I refuse to settle and I refuse to hurt someone by allowing them to believe that they have all of me. Knowing that my heart is forever searching for its true home.
Is this just a waste of time? Will I ever find what I’m looking for and if I never do, will I end up alone. Which is better; I have no clue. The dreamer in me believes that I will find him or him me… that there will be a perfect exchange of our love by our standards, arguments and all. The realist says that I will settle; living a memorable and fulfilling life but somehow never feeling complete. The dreamer and the realist. The great debate between heart and mind.